not bad news

no news is good news, right? well, no news...so it's not bad, right?
I just feel so good right now. yes, I'm tired again, and I still have to get up and go to work tomorrow, but the bath was warm, with Dead Sea salts in it. I soaked out impurities for at least a half hour, reading about Feng Shui while doing so (I love reading about that...but more about that later.), then took a nice vigorous hot shower, with lots of scrubbing. all the dead skin is gone, and my blood is moving through my body freely again...oh, it's wonderful. I recommend any of you that have the opportunity make yourself do that every so often...in our culture, we rush too much and relax too little. especially me. we need to relax more. listen to our bodies. make sure our chi is flowing properly...yes, I'm channeling my Tai Chi class--but it was a really good class--the only exercise I've ever really enjoyed or been good at. I recommend Tai Chi too. let's all take better care of ourselves.
today Brian and I went to see two houses. One of them, unfortunately, was FULL of potential, but need WAY too much work. we could never have gotten financing on it--but it would be GORGEOUS if someone did replace the kitchen, fix the leaking basement, strip all the old paint and repaint, shore up the leaning porch, etc. the house itself seemed structurally sound. Just more than we could handle. I hope someone else DOES get it and fix it up. one of the neighbors said the house had been unoccupied for eight years, and she thought it was slated for demolition. bummer.
the first house we looked at did not make us sad. it was also not horrible, or above our price/financing ability. it's a twin in Drexel Hill, on the same street I used to live on for a few months while I rented someone's attic. it's not beautiful, but it's decent, with lots of potential (I do like things with potential.). in a way, the fact that it's a basic fixer upper is even more appealing to me. it's not like moving into a new home, with fresh carpet and glaring new white paint, where it seems (and is) wasteful to redo the whole thing, just so it suits our tastes. No, in this case we really would need to, at least gradually, redo the whole house. somehow unify the ghetto-looking hard wood floors. replace the old metal kitchen cabinets. remove and replace the car jack holding one leg of the small patio/deck up. replace a window. remove the sagging ceiling fan in the master bedroom. etc. Hey, at least we'd have a completely (very high) fenced in back yard for Quinn to play freely in. what an amazing thing that would be, to let him outside to run or pee or both!
the house really does have potential. I spent all my free mind time today imagining how we could decorate if we got it. how to incorporate feng shui and common sense (often the same thing) with personal tastes and the existing restrictions of the house, or at least what I can remember of it. what I could grow on the lawns. themes to decorate with...for instance, a zen garden themed bathroom (white, tan/sand, red, and green, with bamboo accents and Chinese characters)--since the bathroom there is a light tan/ off white, I think it would work out really well.
I really did spend EVERY FREE MOMENT today focused on that. planning that. I came home tonight and thought about it more. I read more of my feng shui books. I thought about it more. and then I realized....there is NOTHING ELSE I sit around and think and dream about so much, as I do about how to decorate places. I visit friends' places and think how I might adjust or change it. I walk through public buildings and think about how they might be able to make it more appealing/ hospitable/ attractive...I think about this stuff all the time!
and then it hit me...if I like to think about it this much, if I enjoy making a bland room into something new and exciting, if I read people well, and usually have some difficult to define but usually accurate sense of how their personality translates to more tangible things (like how to decorate)--THEN WHY DON"T I DO THAT FOR A LIVING?? whoa!! novel idea, I know. It's only been on the tip of my tongue and on my "best of ideas" list for forever. it's the idea that came to my mind after a weekend spent in a career seminar. why not do it for a job? well, no, it's not the best economy to head into a non-essential career, I suppose. then again, what's really essential? being a doctor? I think the time for that has passed, while the desire hasn't ever been there strong enough to survive the training. I could be "practical" and shove my dreams back down inside me, and pretend they didn't exist, and try to just make money and scrape through life. but I don't want to. I want to do something I enjoy, with a greater purpose. and I think interior decorating/ design just might be a major component of it. I'd say I'm about 90% certain on that, and just need to decide on a course of action towards it--education? job that is relevant? I have to figure that out, but figuring out my own mind is the hardest part...so if I've done that, well, why I guess I have good news after all!!